Noise

When these empty spaces come;
The busyness from day to day
Shuts down and the noise stops
I am forced to look at me,
A practice I am familiar with but
From now on,I am forced to look at
You and what you went through
Before you took your life into
Your own hands and left us
Then, more so, me, without you and
Even more so, your family without you




We are left here to pick up the pieces
You created when you shattered
Your soul into our hearts
I know your mind was sick
I know your body was sick
Though I can't help to be angry
Not only did you leave, my brother,
You left without a goodbye to all of us
I wish I could have helped you and so does
Everyone else who loved you
We are broken from losing you
We are broken from missing you
We are broken from guilt and shame and
The images we carry of you
In our hearts, in our minds,
On our Facebook walls,
On our phones, on our walls
We carry you in our souls
When these empty spaces come and
The busyness from day to day
Shuts down and the noise stops
A promise of tears and sorrow pay a visit
I have a feeling the noise is what you ran from
I hope you found your place of solitude
Will you pray we all find ours?

Slamming Doors, Summer 2000

I watch the sun rise every day

Then watch the night come and

Fade away into a new day

All without you

Makes me wonder about all the controversy 

Between you and I find myself silent in a sigh

I begin to realize that there's 

Much more to it than just simple differences

Maybe we were just victims of circumstances

The anger I see in you is anger I have felt too

Trying to go about life forgetting and

With all life's frustrating turns

We try not to care

About the haunting past we both share

Just to move on and move away,

Further and further from the 

Bedroom closet and a broken down mother

With tears and shattered mirrors that

Lay about the empty space

Sadness and anger written all over your face

Even today I see it in your eyes and

It reminds me of that time

So maybe this is why I stay away,

Don't want to remember all the sad days

I'm sorry big brother, I just want to 

Get past all the memories, but

Please know I love you and always will and

One day,

My healing will come along with yours and

Life will be new,

Without slamming doors

Slamming Doors II

Winter 2013

I woke up this morning, and

The first thought that came to my mind

Was this poem I wrote back then

When I was searching my soul

For understanding

Feeling God's love and remembering

Letting the Great Healer heal me

A few years later, 

You let God into your heart and

Happily, you accepted a fresh start

I felt, perhaps, this poem 

Played a role in your journey

Then somewhere along the way

You lost hope, you lost control

You hurt your wife, your children

The slamming doors kept swinging and

You made a choice to free them

And yourself, perhaps, to find healing

You so desperately needed 

Oh Big Brother, 

I respect your decision

To let the door slam one last time

Though I don't think you realized

You weren't the monster you thought you were

For we all suffer without you, and would gladly

Open the door and let you back in

Working Man

He was a working man
He made friends with 24 horses
As he shares his memories, I see
They were the fondest times of his life
His mother was a worker,
Who owned and ran a bakery
With business in his blood,
He owned a hardware store
And a towing business
He worked hard his whole life
Was able to retire well and
Pass his legacy to his son
Without a word said I knew
He was a hard working man
For he takes his time dressing
And talks himself through every step
He smiles, he laughs
He seems to find satisfaction
As he picks out his clothes for the day
Especially his belt buckle
Of a golden horse and his leather ties
He collected over the years
At 94, he was and still is
A working man
It runs deep in his veins